October 06, 2005
Vampires in Brooklyn
So I think a friend called me a rapist of vampire or something. I think that I have heard that before. I think I took a lot from Jackie. When it was falling apart, and I was struggling with literal sanity at that point, yeah I was just pulling from her.
I think I took from Amanda. Though Amanda took nearly a decade to point out to me what a shit I was.
I have not done it recently. I often attributed my taking, to my giving. Sort of give one, take 3. I think I always did that.
But not anymore.
The simple fact is I have not given anyone anything in about a year. Not even the high hard one.
I dont think I have been a good friend. I dont think I have been a bad friend. I just think that I have been an absent friend.
Honestly, I think it happened around the time of my Dad's suicide. I just shut off. I keep the tank for me if you will.
I dont know, I might be giving all the time.
I know I have not really been intimate with another human in a long time. Maybe with Natas Kaupas when I was in Milwaukee for the show the other week, but maybe not even then.
I have become a workout hog now. Its insane.
I gotta find someone to look out for my friends daughter. He is far away, and the occasional trusted EYE wont hurt anything. I tend to think I know who this is going to go to, but it is weird to call on these guys for a favor. But I am still going to do it. I think my friend is concerned. I dont know though, I might just think she is a teen.
Posted by Radiofree at October 6, 2005 11:50 PM | TrackBack