Outnumbered, Outgunned

Permission

A little child stands in front of you and says, "Its okay to cry about your dad, in case you have dont that yet."

And then tears flow. We need that permission to be a human after so long of not being a human. The tears the realease.

The anger, the hurt, hidden BEHIND my eyes. Unable to get out. My mouth shut. MY body racked with pain. The pain hides behind my eyes, but you can see it. And I can see it. Its shocking how bad off that I am.

Crying.

I dont even give a shit. Its out. It keeps coming. My head on a pillow. My eyes flowing, trying to see the end of the crying but I cannot.

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Eric B and Rakim seem to be the only way to drop a beat bigger than me. Bigger than you. You sit and you hear that boom bap beat, and its all right there. How did that get to be the creative thing, and we dont know what to do with a guitar.

I think about Dickie Betts. The deal is not that he is a bad player. In fact he is a great player. but he is a bad guy. He treats people badly.

I dont understand the whatever culture. The culture of non engadgement in even our friends. We sit in our little bullshit world, and we dont talk to each other, we dont do anything of the sort.

I wish that Kevin Bacon would spend more time with me, but he is starting this business model. And its cool. I think of him as a great advisor. The time that we have been friends has been cool. He is willing to engage like an adult, not just a beer thing.

I bought an xbox yesterday. I got three games. I am really happy about it. I dont think it is so bad that I got one.

The broken links, yeah I might get to them, I might not.

Posted by Radiofree at October 15, 2005 06:45 PM | TrackBack